Last week in my “Blog of Lifestyles”
the number 2 grind was a download to a book called “The Truth About
Cheating”. I brought this up in a conversation with my boy Juice and he
quickly said “We cheat because we don't have the right chick on our
team.” He then goes on to tell me how he had five women who do one
thing really good and together they make the perfect chick. The truth
is it's hard to find a complete woman. No matter how hard you try there
is always something missing.
Chick 1. - One Who Can Take Care Of The Kids
If
you have kids then a woman who is good with children is a must have.
Most women have children already and it's extremely hard, to find a
woman who doesn't. Now throw in the factor that one day the two of you
will plan to have kids together... or at least you're supposed to plan
and not have Maury Povich on speed dial for the moment you drop that
bundle of joy. Getting along with children is a key factor for a guy
who plans on getting married, settling down and raising a family. Isn't
that what all of us want?
Chick 2 – One To Wash The Clothes and Cook
Newflash:
More than half of the ladies I know CAN'T COOK! If they can, it's just
well enough so she won't starve. I get a look of amazement when ladies
find out that I can cook (You'll ask for seconds I promise). Sometimes
I want my plate made, and that's a plate that's limited to hamburger
helper or hot pockets. I want what Rachel Ray, just made on the Food
Network (Evil twin of the Battered Women's channel called Lifetime).
Speaking of Lifetime, stop watching that crap. Offer to wash our
clothes and clean our house. Guys can't clean, like a woman! Women,
know all sorts of tricks to get Hennessey stains out of a carpet or how
to get that Kool-Aid ring off the counter. But men, pick your boxers up
off the floor if you want her to clean. She'll do naughty things down
there but she doesn't want to touch, or see your drawls!!!!
Chick 3 – One Who is Independent (And Doesn't Really Need Us)
One
thing that turns me on is a woman that doesn't need me. We like to know
that our girl can hold US down if it came to that. It's nice to know
that your lady might just be like “boo, do you need me to pay your
light bill?” or “Put your wallet away, I'm buying dinner tonight.” I
think I just got hard.
Chick 4 – One Who Has The Best Sex
Nothing
ruins a relationship like bad sex. Most women will say that sex isn't
important and while many women may even be with men who can't satisfy
them sexually, there is a hunger which burns inside of them to get
their backs blown out. Now, while she may have those urges under
control she shouldn't have to want for great sex. She should be able to
get done right. Same thing with men, we want the love making to be
amazing all the time, and if it's not we'll go elsewhere while saying
at home. If you know what I mean.
Chick 5 – One who watches SportsCenter & Football After Church
Most
men would love to be able to really discuss the game with their girl.
We can talk about who's better between Kobe or Lebron. Or Eli Manning's
forth quarter comeback this week. Once in a blue moon a woman would
come along and watch the game with you. We thank you for watching the
game and sort of understanding what's going on, but come on do some
homework. We'll watch "Girlfriends" and follow along as so to tell you
what happened if you missed a part. You should be able to do the same.
Not "number 11 just dunked on the cute guy in the blue on the other
team."
After our discussion he ended the conversation with
“Now how the hell am I gonna find all that in one chick? That's exactly
why I'm single f' that!!! Ya digggzzz”
-Blogxilla